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Four weeks and counting, and #Cora

December 11, 2009

I was going to do my first wordless Wednesday post yesterday but couldn’t get my camera, a charged battery, and a download cord or card reader in the same place for some reason. I’ve been distracted all week, actually, trying to secure a caregiver for Jesse as Dean got himself ready to go back to work, and we picked up Dean’s new car, a 2000 Subaru Outback.

Dean’s going back to work has been a stress point for me, because he works two hours away, and as such, tends to stay in Northern Virginia at his dad’s old house during the week. We used to jokingly call this our commuter marriage, which worked fine prior to my late pregnancy and Jesse’s arrival. I don’t see it working so well anymore; I can’t even run to the corner to pick up a newspaper without it turning into a production. I don’t know how single moms do it, and I say this having been a single mom–just of a tween, not of an infant.

In the meantime, said former tween turned 17 last week. Where does the time go? And Jesse hit four weeks yesterday. The days are a blur, honestly, partly because I haven’t slept more than 3.5 hours at a time since he was born. But that’s ok, too, because a half-hour feeding in between two such sleeping jags translates into 7 hours of mostly uninterrupted sleep.

Today, the breast pump arrived. Dean will likely be able to feed Jesse by this weekend. That will be nice, although I’m a bit stressed about how the damned thing works! I didn’t use a pump with Elder Son, per se–just the occasional portable one-side kind, battery operated. Didn’t need it too much because I worked nights and Kieran slept through the night by that point.

Jesse’s also really starting to make eye contact with me in a way that he hasn’t before–I can tell he recognizes me, and he smiles a lot more often.

But all of this is hollow, this week, because one of my bump buddies from Twitter, Kristine, lost her daughter, born Nov. 30, to an undetected heart defect earlier this week. Cora was breastfeeding in her mother’s arms one minute, and the next.. Kristine was racing to the hospital, where Cora died. My heart goes out to Kristine and her family, and in Cora’s honor, many of us in the Twittersphere are wearing pink. I’m wearing the pink maternity tee that I loved so much while pregnant, and wrapped in the pink prayer shawl that my friend Audra sent me: it was knit for her during her pregnancy, and she passed it along to me, and now I wear it in honor of Cora.

Every day, I’m grateful that I have a healthy little boy. He was a surprise for us, but a blessing we never could have anticipated.

Kristine, my prayers are with you this week. Much love to you and Ben.

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