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June 7, 2009

Got definite baby flutters on the way home today. ๐Ÿ˜€ Got all teary-eyed as I felt it, not once, not twice, but three times in about a 20 minute period. Nothing since, but that’s the nature of it. It will get more pronounced in coming weeks.

it’s been a great weekend. more on that to come from helcat, but babywise, other than quickening, the high point was fetching a carful of stuff from windsornot. Unfortunately, we discovered that the car seat won’t help us any, but I’ve set my mother on a quest for a new one that hopefully she can split the cost up with via her sisters.

But that’s ok: between the bags of maternity clothes, the crib, the strollers (3 of them!) and the other gadgets, I can safely say that we’re much better off than we were two days ago!

I’m a little weirded out to discover that certain things I did with Kieran when he was an infant, like often letting him sleep in the bed with me, carrying him in a soft carrier, and breastfeeding him are considered now part of a movement called attachment parenting. I’m annoyed by it being something that requires a ridiculous amount of propagandist spin, in much the same way as I get annoyed by the militant fans of homebirth. I’m particularly distressed that they have their own gerund-formed nouns– “co-sleeping” and “babywearing.” I don’t want to be thought of as an activist, but as I explained to Dean why I preferred carriers over hitching an infant car seat around, he agreed with me really strongly and announced that we could take turns carrying the baby, one carrying the baby and one carrying the gear. It was a really cool moment that made me just awww! at surprises I get from Dean on a regular basis these days.

So anyway. I’m using babies’r’us to start creating a registry but I don’t think it’s the one I’ll promote: just about everything on it is signficantly cheaper on So it’s like I’m using babies’r’us to explore but will use the amazon/target registry when it comes time to start pimping things out. And I won’t really populate these things until I know whether it’s a boy or a girl, but if anyone sees an awesome deal on something, the gender-neutral color to go for is tans and browns that combine well with pastels. And I’m realizing a lot has changed in 17 years, sorely tempted to find a public place to ask the question, “what’s the best/most creative/most interesting/most useful baby shower gift you received and why?” I’m pretty sure it must have been done in these thousands of baby forums around, but haven’t found anything yet. Must look some more.

In about 2 weeks, I should be able to answer the boy/girl question with a reasonable amount of certainty. ๐Ÿ™‚ I still have to get my insurance working with the perinatologist, tho.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. June 8, 2009 2:46 pm

    Attachment parenting is one of those things that shouldn’t really need a name but for the fact that folks who are “into” it seem to like to lord it over the heads of us plebes who cannot sleep with an infant lying next to us or resort to supplementing because we just can’t find the time in the work day to adequately pump.
    I had one devotee at one point declare that her way should be the default and the rest of us were actually practicing “detachment parenting”. Good times.
    Do what feels right to you, but you know that already.

    • June 8, 2009 3:08 pm

      Yeah, that’s exactly the kind of thing that made me once go “I am glad I didn’t have this kind of internet rubbish when I was pregnant with Kieran.” Any zealot/proselytizer for just about anything, including issues I agree with, pisses me off. In just the same way that I try to provide information about things I do agree with, it doesn’t mean that I think that it’s the only way to do things, although I was horrified when someone this weekend said if she had kids she would of course have a c-section because she was scared of an episiotomy. I couldn’t help myself, I blurted, “You’d rather have major abdominal surgery than a single little snip that can be stitched up tighter than it started?”
      I am quite sure “co-sleeping” isn’t for everyone. The only reason Kieran wound up in bed with us back in the day was always that I’d stagger out of bed, bring him back to nurse, and fall asleep there, mostly because his nursery at the time was smaller than some closets and the only place to nurse him comfortably on that floor was in bed. But the end result was that I was better rested, which made life more sane. But… the amazing thing about life in general is one of my key mottoes: “Your mileage can.. and should… vary.”
      And while it still gives me hives to hear about all the unnecessary c-sections out there, the main reason I’m so obsessed with is is that I don’t want an _unnecessary_ section. And the main reason I’m an advocate for midwifery is that I think people think it’s some kind of weird thing when it shouldn’t be. The end result of AP nazis is that these practices come across as some weird thing when they shouldn’t be. My way should be just as ok as your way, even if I don’t understand it. In other words, I try to make my place of advocacy from the point of view that “my way might seem a bit weird, but I want other people to understand it even if they don’t susbcribe to it.”
      I’m also painfully aware that I’m lucky to work at a place with a lactation room; nonetheless, there’s a big part of me that hopes I can somehow walk away from a traditional full-time job in the name of actually being able to raise this child. It was the work-or-die syndrome that caused me to lose Kieran when he was 3.
      Uh-oh, I smell a dose of therapy may be needed…

      • June 8, 2009 4:16 pm

        Exactly – we didn’t so much “co-sleep” as I figured out I could manage to nurse R while lying down in bed, which was arguably safer than falling asleep with him in the rocker. Mentally, though, I needed to know he had another bed he could go to.

      • June 8, 2009 4:28 pm

        Bunky will have his/her own room with a crib (and I’m so grateful to Dani that I have one already!), although I’ll probably use a regular bassinet for the first couple of months, not one of those “co-sleeping” ones that is missing a side.

  2. June 9, 2009 7:28 am

    Ya know, the most useful stuff I have I never got for my baby shower, I had to find out thru much trial and error, but I swear, when buying shower gifts, these are among the things I’d probably get someone, as I do not live without them daily:
    Munchkin nipple & bottle ring dishwasher basket
    foldable changing pads
    munchkin diaper bags with dispenser
    aquaphor baby ointment
    hands-free pump bra
    Playtex nursing necessities nipple gel pads
    crib sheets
    the really cheap gerber bottles, because they fit the hospital-grade pumps :))
    This is my list of stuff that I can;t live without, but I think everyone’s varies.

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