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Pregnant woman, must f*ck with..

May 29, 2009

I am really sick of “how are you feeling.” I mean really sick of it. People don’t say “Hi Helen” any more, and people who NEVER spoke to me in the office now lead off with the stupid question, which has caused the phrase in general to come off as patronizing, like I’m only interesting now that I’m pregnant, and if I give you an honest answer to that question, it leads to a conversation you never would have had with me if I weren’t pregnant.

(and I don’t mean you, doodebunky readers. I mean all the other “you”s who know I’m pregnant but really aren’t interested in _me,_ just _pregnant me_.)

But it’s a camel’s back issue. Being asked that question several dozen times a day is making me not want to leave the house. Even just “How are you,” which you might ask me if I weren’t pregnant, would make me _feel_ more comfortable.

Please, stop pitying me because I’m pregnant, people! I’m torn between saying “horrible” every time someone asks me that and saying “fine, thank you” when I don’t, so I’ve actually been explaining to people that being asked it a hundred times a week is hard to deal with. Most people actually laugh with me on it, but today I got, “*I* haven’t asked you that.”

I am so glad that at some point someone taught me that it’s not enough to treat other people the way you want to be treated. Treat people the way they want to be treated, and in order to do that, you have to be willing to get to know a person at least a bit beyond the surface level. It also means I have to bite my own tongue at being snarky when asked that question for the umptyhundredth time.

But honestly, I guess some people love being treated differently when they are pregnant. me? not so much. It’s sort of like the love I used to get when I was semifamous in Philadelphia–I can’t stand empty attention, being an object of fascination instead of a human being. It’s why it’s been downright impossible for me to meet men anywhere other than the internet. (and thank god I don’t have to deal with that anymore.)

By the same token, it is this personality quirk of mine that makes me very difficult to get to know. Being aware of this doesn’t make me any gentler with new users.

By the same token, I did have another coworker today thank me for not being annoyingly pregnant, as in always squeeeeeeing over the cute. That’s not to say that i don’t have it in me, but it’s also one of the reasons I’m not joining a baby bump club.

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