Belly up

The pains seem to have stopped within the past hour or so, finally, after making a brief "are you paying attention" cameo on the right side of my body (which was probably round ligament pain; the sensation isn’t overly dissimilar). They will probably image my ovaries at my next ultrasound just to see what it might have been–apparently, the corpus luteum that generates a lot of the hormones until the placenta fully develops sometimes doesn’t disintegrate properly, just as it sometimes doesn’t after a normal woman’s cycle. And I’m just getting to the point where the placenta is fully formed. It’s kind of neat, though: if that’s the case, then Bunky definitely came from the left ovary; not something that bears any significance other than the "oh neat" factor.

This is more neat, though. When I lie flat on my back, I can feel my uterus under my belly fat, and I can feel it, ever so slightly, shift as the baby moves, externally. Not quite the same thing as feeling the baby move internally, so I can’t call it quickening just yet, but it’s going to happen soon.

And I’m *really* excited about that. On one of my crying jags back when I thought I wasn’t going to have more children, I was so devastated that I wasn’t ever going to feel that sensation again. And now that I’m going to, I wish I could record the sensation in something more tactile. I remember the feeling distinctly with Kieran, but I don’t remember things like where I was, or how I reacted;  I wasn’t as good at chronicling things back then (and what journals I did keep were incredibly depressed-sounding, which fits, when you look at my marriage of that time).

And I look so cute in some of these maternity clothes I could just yarf. Who knew? Weird side effect I’m digging: the fact that my upper arms have lost 2 solid inches, most of which since getting pregnant.I still mostly need 1x shirts to accommodate their girth (which looks freakish compared to my relatively trim forearms), but I can wear a size "large" if the arms have a loose cut to them.

Anyhow, enough babble, I guess. Sometimes I have to remind myself not to take the rest of the internet personally, in fact more so lately. A lot of times my rambling (and tweet-rambling) is just me thinking aloud, getting the brain flotsam out so that I can process everything else more clearly. And too often I forget that my brain-dump sometimes causes consternation among friends, and they want to help, and I get irritated when they want to try. Where does that fall on the things-I’ve-done-and-left-undone spectrum?