My husband has a saying that he represents visually.
Now think outside the box.
The most recent escalation of net-drama to cross my radar involves two bloggers I deeply admire and generally respect. It seems that one blogger believed something about another that apparently isn’t true. I’m not privy to what happened next, but the second blogger is now being harassed for what the first blogger believes. And now a third has been dragged into it.
And because of that, the second blogger now believes that the first blogger is spreading lies and hate about her.
And I don’t know what to believe, but I’m inclined to think there must be some misunderstanding.
Today, I’m disappointed in people. Including–perhaps especially–myself.
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. – Mother Teresa
Because I was speaking of books earlier, to wit, “Baby Led Weaning,” a resource I’d like to refer to a skeptical friend to so that she can understand it a little bit better. But it’s not stocked by any of the local libraries, including Super Big County (Fairfax, VA) library system, where I have a card because I work in this county.
It made me realize that I would happily buy this book for all the local libraries if I knew for certain they would add it to their collection as opposed to shifting it over to the book sale pile.
Most libraries, however, do accept requests for books, and it occurs to me that we crunchy-inclined mamas could do ourselves a great favor by making sure our favorite books on pregnancy, birthing, and parenting are stocked by the local library. Fairfax has the books by Ina Mae Gaskin, but not the one by Henci Goer, for instance.
(Although I just found The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth on Google Books, available as a limited preview. Tell your friends!)
So my question for you, dear readers, is…
What books would you recommend for your dream library collection? What books should every library have on hand and feature more prominently than, say, What to Expect on the pregnancy/birth/parenthood display rack?
I thought I would do much better at babyblogging. Or Mamablogging. After all, that’s part of the reason I was inspired to migrate from my main blog, that and to do so a little more anonymously, especially when I found out I was pregnant and didn’t want a boatload of congratulations I wasn’t ready for.
I feel so BLESSED to have this baby–a baby who was conceived a year ago tomorrow. He was three months old on Thursday, already! I can’t believe it!
He’s holding his head up now, and not quite able to steady it enough to sit in the bumbo. But he certainly has quite the charming smile.
So what can I do to be a better mamablogger? Should I just go ahead and migrate over to the main blog again, to really, truly BE a mamablogger?
And note: I am not a MOMMYBLOGGER. Adorable infant notwithstanding, I have a teenager too!
So anyway, I wrote extensively about how bad the weekend last weekend was, just not here. So without further ado, let me point you to that blog–which is even more neglected than this one, I assure you….
And if I could only figure out why it’s saying I’m posting as “Google.”
Desirre Andrews made a fascinating post over at PrepForBirth that itemizes interventions that often aren’t necessary but are often pushed, subtly or not so much. Because I’ve now dubbed what I went through during my second labor “intervention harassment,” I’m going to encourage you to read her post and then come back here to see how many of these things I either endured (in bold) or refused (in italics).
* The uniform
* Who’s on first?
* On a short leash. (I was on a medium one, actually, only confined to bed 20 minutes out of every 2 hours.)
* The big drag around – I was browbeaten for refusing the IV and finally consented to a heplock just to shut the frackin’ nurse up.
* Staying put
* Ice chips and Jello I didn’t even get jello.
* The marketing tool – Nah, I didn’t feel like getting into the shower, honestly.
* One is enough They would have let me have a second person, but what they had in place was frustrating. Absolutely no one but those two people, and no one under 18 for our entire stay, which put the kaibosh on the kids meeting their baby brother.
* I know more than you– I got this, but in a defensive way, not an offensive way. I had come up swinging as soon as she ordered pit the first time, and she felt like she had to remind me that she had gone to school for this.
* If you don’t… – I can’t count the number of times she came up with excuses to intervene. The most absurd was her combing through the monitor print-out, and pointing to an instance where the baby had moved away from the transducer as evidence that the baby was in distress. I actually laughed at her. “If it happens again,” she said, “you’re getting the pit.” I spent the next two sessions on the monitor panicking over what she might do every time his heart beat slowed down even a little.
* Attitude and atmosphere – My day nurse seemed almost terrified of me, and because I was getting a rap as an uncooperative patient, I spent most of the day miserable–and progressing slowly. When the natural-birth-fluent night nurse came on, the energy changed, and I opened right up.
* Only if you ask – Kind of. There were things I should have asked for, but it wasn’t until the night nurse came on that I realized what I should have asked for.
* Bait and switch – Thank goodness, not for me. But I did notice something about the childbirth ed class: they talk about all this walking around you can do, and gloss over the fact that once you have an epidural, you’re not leaving the bed. Considering that everyone in the class but me was planning an epidural, I felt it was irresponsible of the educator to be singing the praises of walking during labor–so I pointed out the incongruity for the benefit of my classmates.
* New with bells and whistles – I don’t think they were pushing interventions for a better bottom line.
* Routine vaginal exams – I refused all vaginal exams after I got to 5 cm until I felt the urge to push, but getting to 5 was a battle because of the environment.
* Pushing the epidural – Didn’t apply to me since I had refused the basics that were needed for an epidural. but omg, the pit-pushing! That I refused it four times still blows my mind, and I’m starting to feel like the pressure to accede to these procedures constitutes intervention harassment. And while I’m sure there are folks that say, hey, at least you fought it and won.. there was this horrible hour between 6 and 7 when I began to doubt myself.
In other words, that harassment almost worked, and if it hadn’t been for the night nurse, it might have.
I went back to work this week. In some ways, it went fantastic: I wasn’t late to work any day, pumping went great, I’m really happy with the day care arrangement we all worked out. In other ways, it didn’t: It looks like I may have to use bottles even on days I telework because Jesse still likes cluster feeding at the breast, and that just doesn’t work when I’m working; I found myself distracted by habits I’d gotten into while on leave that can’t continue while I’m working (oh hai @moshermama twitter stream); and getting back into the groove of a job I used to do seamlessly is proving to be paved with all manner of speed bumps that didn’t used to apply to me.
Jesse shocked me by sleeping through the night for the first time Sunday night, going down about 10:30 and waking up about 5:30. I was so expecting the 2-3 feeding that I was shocked when I found that I had slept nearly til the alarm, which was going off at 6. He’s doing this regularly, too, although Thursday and Friday he enacted some weird timeshift and woke us up at 4:30 both mornings. Ugh.
He doesn’t have his checkup until next week, but I think he weighs about 13 pounds already. Size 3 months is a wash; I’m glad they lasted 2, honestly.
Ok, that’s the Jesse update. Next up is another of my birth rant posts!